Hey Norm!

With the pages of the calender flying off... okay...  clicking over in my blackberry... I am realizing that the freedom that I enjoyed as a child has led to an addictive personality as a... heh, heh... adult.
Of course the biggie has to be alcohol. I have tiptoed around becoming a bona fide alcoholic for awhile. I go through phases of afternoon drunk a few times a week and then my liver goes on strike and then my house goes dry for a few weeks. But its not just the obvious.  I don't have tv. I watch a few shows online but don't ever sit down and watch television. Until... Netflix. Its created a monster. Out of sheer boredom one day I put on an episode of Cheers. Now 121 episodes later (in only 1 week) I am actually stiff from lack of movement. Come on! Its a funny show but there are still another 128 episodes to go! Each episode is 24 minutes. That means in the last week I have spent 2,904 minutes sitting on the couch. Thats 48 hours. 2 entire days of my life have gone to watching old episodes of Cheers. This is a sad statement. Even worse... I am about to commit another 2.5 days to the cause.
Ohhh... gotta go... here comes Norm!

My Pops: Accidentally Hilarious

Ahhh... Pops. My 60-something, retired father is one of the greatest people in the entire world... and accidentally hilarious.  He's just one of those people that you can't help but start a quote book so that you can remember everything he says. He shared two of his most recent little gem while we were in the car the other day:

"That’s what the horn is for! Your mother isn’t happy about it, but I am becoming more and more of a honker each day – so you don’t have to deal with people like this!"

...and...

“These lights last 2 minutes each; that’s 2 minutes of my life...gone! You better believe I am going through a yellow light.”

It's impossible for me to give you a proper impression of my pops through writing. His delivery is amazing - because he is dead serious. I find that as he is climbing through his 60's being around him just keeps getting better. He's the guy that answers the phone by saying "What's up, Pal?" to any of my friends. He opens salsa bottles and they explode on him. He's goofy but he's also the man who, although he served in Vietnam, won't stand up to be honored because he doesn't believe that war was something to be proud of. He's the man who held me at my grandparents funerals. The dad who spent years getting his shins damaged from pitching practice, and the man who taught me how to respect. 

 

Blog... an electronic journal or a non religious confessional?

I know that I am late to the world of blogging...about 10 years late. Truthfully, I still don't know about the wide world of blogging - but I do know that face book will only allow me 160 characters per post. Hello? How am I supposed to achieve comedic gold with only 160 characters? It's work. A few more things that I'm unsure about... who the heck wants to read my stories and do I really want people to read them? Maybe face book is doing me a favor by limiting how much of myself I can truly share. I don't know. But what I do know is this:

• I am a twenty-something that revels in the lifestyle of a much YOUNGER twenty something; a lifestyle that even I can't keep up with at times. 
• I have friends that can make me laugh while I am crying at "Ramona and Beezus" or put shortening all over a guys doorknobs because he was rude to someone I love.
• I have family that would support me if I decided to pursue a career in ghost hunting or if I decided to become a recluse and apply black masking tape to all my windows. 
• And most importantly... I have an ability to laugh at everything - including myself. 

I haven't decided yet if I want to do this blog to be a journal that reflects how I feel about all the people that make my life so rich, or if I want to confess some of my sins. Most likely it will be a little bit of each. So, if you enjoy self-deprecating humor... take a glimpse at the Sober Confessions of A Tipsy Twenty-Something.